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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525064">Blue Eyes</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/durbanpoison/pseuds/durbanpoison'>durbanpoison</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Metallica</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Age Difference, Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Prostitution, Smoking, motel sex, word vomit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-08 05:55:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,549</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525064</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/durbanpoison/pseuds/durbanpoison</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Metallica AU where Jason sells his body for money and James tries to be a good person, even if just for his own conscience.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Hetfield/Jason Newsted</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>26</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Blue Eyes</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi guys, I wrote this like two or three years back. Didn't edit or beta it, so sorry if there are any mistakes. As usual it's some sappy, melodramatic bullshit. I hope you'll enjoy nevertheless!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It wasn't long ago that I had a hooker come over. In fact, it had only been yesterday.<br/>
</p><p>But God, now that I looked at this one, pretty and alluring, curls tumbling over the narrow shoulders, I felt like I wouldn't ever feel the need to take another one again. Big and wide blue eyes that shone with innocence. It would be the last time I’d dare to meet his look.</p><p>I had picked him off the streets; it was obvious that he hadn't done this before. His nervous mine as I had pulled over and asked him if he wanted to earn some money was clearly showing that he wasn't used to it. Wasn't used to being fucked like a rag doll and then thrown away with a few bucks more to survive. </p><p>Maybe he was just desperate for money, even a drug addict, but I didn't care at that moment, all I wanted was to press him down and thrust into his warm, soft body.<br/>
He continued to look at me with wide eyes, his breath quickened, as he slid down the loose shirt he was wearing and exposed his torso, it was pale and lithe like the rest of his body. </p><p>„Your pants too“, I said. „We don't have all night.“</p><p>The cheap carpet in the motel room was sticky and unpleasant, but there was a bed and it was all I needed right now. </p><p>I saw his fingers shaking as he unbuttoned his shabby trousers and let them fall down onto the sticky carpet ground. He didn't look up at me once during the whole procedure, as if he didn't want to show me the vulnerability in his eyes that I had long seen. Emotional attachment wasn't good in this business.</p><p>As soon as he was somehow naked, I didn't have the nerves to control my urges anymore and grabbed him, drawing a gasp out of him. My touch was rough, he struggled and I could feel that he was uncomfortable and scared, but I pushed him onto the bed, yanking down his underwear. We didn't look into each other’s eyes once. </p><p>He yelped shortly, but then his protests died down and he gave up, going limp in my hands. He didn't move as I pushed his legs apart and placed my hand on his upper back to prevent him from moving.</p><p>It all happened too fast, I simply pushed into him and started thrusting, ignoring his whines and whimpers along the way. The tight heat around me felt amazing and all I could do was groan and go even faster. This was his business, uncomfortable times were to be expected. Something inside of me wanted to see him suffer, to fuel his fear even more and to wipe the tears off his cheeks. But before that, I had already come inside of him, sullying his once pure body.<br/>
</p><p>Even when he dressed up again, mute tears dripping onto the ground, even when I threw the money to his feet and made him pick it up like a dog, our eyes didn't meet once, and it was better that way.</p><p>						—————</p><p>„Hey.“ </p><p>The blue eyes peeked up at me widely. He recognized me, showed his fear, but I wasn't here to hurt him. Not today. </p><p>He was leaning against the red brick wall of a house, his jeans too tight and his shirt too exposing of his body. I didn't know how often he had been picked up by somebody since we met for the first time, but it couldn't have been many. He was even paler and thinner, his eyes surrounded by black shadows. </p><p>„Need a ride and something warm to eat?“</p><p>He didn't speak a word while I drove him to the next best diner I could find. Somehow I had to care for him, had to feel the sadness that was looming around him like a dark halo, and it was excruciating. Maybe it was my soft side speaking, my inner core that was hidden to everyone else but me, and yet I had decided to open myself up to him, to show him the soft spot inside my body called heart.</p><p>From time to time I looked over to him, watching how the street lights swept over his face and disappeared again, how Blue Eyes carefully roamed his surroundings. I stopped in front of the cheap restaurant and looked over to him, only meeting his shy glance. </p><p>„You can’t go in like this.“ </p><p>He exactly knew what I meant, so I reached back and handed him a black sweater which he threw on. He followed me into the restaurant, and we sat down on one table, Blue Eyes was unsurely playing with the sleeves of his sweater. </p><p>„Order whatever you want, I’ll pay“, I said and he almost seemed to want to object, but I firmly shook my head. „You must be starving.“ </p><p>That made him quiet down again and he cleared his throat, hesitantly taking the menu from the waitress. His curly hair wasn't as shiny and long as before, they seemed tired and lifeless, just like him. </p><p>Blue Eyes still didn't say a word. He was numbly staring at the surface of the table, his lips pressed together slightly. And I understood it. As if he was crying and talking and spilling all his sorrows to me, I understood him, the mere pain that was coursing through his body. Out of an impulse, I reached over and took his slender, cold hand into mine, squeezing it lightly. </p><p>„Poor kid.“ </p><p>I started rubbing it, making sure that it was warmed up before I took the other one, warming up at least the little part of his body.<br/>
</p><p>„So broken“, I whispered, before Blue Eyes pulled his hand away and we received tea and pumpkin soup. </p><p>He was eating quietly, not saying a word the whole time. There wasn't anything that needed to be said, but I still hoped that my unspoken apology was somehow palpable. I watched him as he ate, the spoon trembling in his hand when he brought it to his dry lips and swallowed, but I saw that he relished getting something into his malnourished stomach for the first time in so long.<br/>
</p><p>It was only when he was done, wiped his lips with a napkin and leaned back when I could suddenly hear him say something. </p><p>„Thank you“, he said, sincerely looking at me. </p><p>I could only force out a small smile and nod. We left the diner and got back into the car, staying at the parking place for a while. Eventually, I pulled a pack of cigarettes out of my pocket and lit up one, before I offered Blue Eyes one too. He gave me a thankful look and took one out, letting me light it. I turned on the heating in the car and blew out the smoke, then turned a little more to him, watching his small frame all rolled up, his knees pulled to his chest while he took one drag after the other, blowing the smoke out against the front window where it dispersed and slowly but surely made the air thick and grey. </p><p>„What’s your name?“, I finally asked, and Blue Eyes gave me an unsure look. </p><p>Of course, even if I helped him and gave him food, he didn't fully trust me yet, and I didn’t expect him to. But eventually, he shifted and turned to me too, taking one drag before he breathed out, „Jason.“ </p><p>I nodded and tapped the ash off my cigarette, watching him. </p><p>„How’s life?“, I asked, and suddenly I got a burst of dry, husky laughter out of him, more ironic than anything. </p><p>„Sucks.“ </p><p>I nodded again. </p><p>„It’ll get better.“ </p><p>Jason coughed a little and cleared his throat, then shook his head. </p><p>„Doubt it.“</p><p>„Why?“ </p><p>He didn't answer, but somehow it laid between us, and I understood him. Again.<br/>
</p><p>We both just stayed in the car and smoked until all was gone and I crumbled up the empty pack. </p><p>„Where do you need to go?“, I asked, then started the engine and drove off, into the dark and intimidating city with mesmerizing city lights and neon signs. </p><p>Another dry laugh, then a sigh.</p><p>„Nowhere. You can let me out here.“ </p><p>It made my heart clench a little and I gave him a sorrowful glance, but didn't say anything and nodded, stopping the car by the road. He opened the door and looked at me. </p><p>„Thank you again.“<br/>
I only smiled slightly, then, „You can keep the sweater.“ </p><p>He looked down at himself, onto the sweater that was too large for him and made him look like a lost child, but then nodded and got out of the car. </p><p>„I owe you something.“ </p><p>I only shook my head. „I only made up for it.“ </p><p>Neither of us said or asked what „it“ was, but we both accepted it. Jason „Blue Eyes“ shot me a last glance, then slammed the door shut and walked away, disappearing around a corner. It took me some time until I could start the car again and drive into the city, toward my home, something which he probably didn't possess. </p><p>I was glad I had looked into his eyes after all.</p>
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